


if i

by flirtlees



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Ambiguous/Open Ending, Depression, Established Relationship, Implied/Referenced Abuse, Jeon Wonwoo/Kim Mingyu-centric, Lowercase, M/M, Songfic, honestly this won't be everyones cup of tea lmao its fine if you no like, slightly nonlinear, wonwoo swears so much
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-12
Updated: 2018-09-12
Packaged: 2019-06-27 01:20:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 604
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15675153
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/flirtlees/pseuds/flirtlees
Summary: if i could, i'd do whatever.mingyu's slipping, and wonwoo can't do anything.





	if i

**Author's Note:**

> listen to if i for a better experience <3  
> the lyrics are also from if i but they're in a different order.

_where you going_  
_where are you going?  
_ _why do i feel my grip loosening_

 

"mingyu? love, where are you? the signal's breaking up..." wonwoo chewed on his lip, fearing the answer. 

"i'm fine," he said breathlessly. "i'm fine."

"that wasn't my question," wonwoo growled. "i asked you where you were." he walked over to the coat rack, slipping on the long burgundy coat mingyu had left behind the last time he had come.

"calm down, won, i'm fine. i'm heading to your house anyway."

"i swear to fucking god, just tell me where you are for  _fuck's_ sake! i'm coming to get you."

"how about no?" mingyu said softly. "i'll...i'll bleed all over your seats."

"wait," wonwoo paused in buttoning mingyu's coat. "bleed?" his heart began to race out of control. "why the fuck are you bleeding?"

it was then that wonwoo heard the sound of sobs. "please, i need this walk, okay? i need to calm down." and his voice sounded so fucking broken that wonwoo just sighed and obliged. 

"i love you, okay?" wonwoo said with a sad smile.

"...i love you too." 

 

_before your small wounds could come together and grow  
_ _if i had recognized them first_

 

wonwoo had thought an angry mingyu was something he didn't particularly like, but if there was something he hated more, it was most definitely a broken one.

he was walking down to mingyu's house, planning on heading to the new avengers movie the younger had been dying to watch. he had turned his phone off after the nth time of checking it to see if mingyu had read his texts, but he almost immediately regretted it when he had been leaning against his car for twenty minutes.

mingyu never left him waiting for more than ten.

wonwoo had reached for his phone just as mingyu rushed out of the house that he never called a home, his cheeks wet with tear streaks, his eye darkened with a bruise, and wonwoo frowned.

"gyu?" wonwoo whispered, running up to mingyu, wrapping his arm around his waist, stroking his hair with the other hand. "are you okay?"

it only took three words to send mingyu to a breakdown, his knees going weak, his hands up to his head, and wonwoo just wrapped his arms tighter, holding him until he finally calmed down.

needless to say, they didn't go to the movies that day.

 

_because i couldn’t do it  
its meaning is completely changed_

 

"wonwoo," mingyu sobbed out, cringing away from the rubbing alcohol. "it hurts, it hurts it hurts it hurts!"

"i know, baby, i know, but i have to do this so it doesn't get infected." wonwoo ran his fingers over the cut on his undeserving boyfriend's cheek, gnawing on his lip. 

"no, no, not that," mingyu said softly, drawing his knees up to his chest, somehow looking significantly smaller than a six-foot beanstalk. "being here hurts.  _living_ hurts. i don't want to live like this, won-"

he squeezed his eyes shut.

"hey," wonwoo whispered. "it's going to get better. soon, we'll be able to live together in our own apartment, right? and you get to leave them and you'll only find love in your home. yeah.  _home_."

mingyu's lips twisted into a frown. "just because the situation is better doesn't mean my mind will be."

and wonwoo's heart shattered.

_i'm sorry, mingyu. i wish i could fix this._

_if we can walk this path together again_  
_i want to hold your hands and give you warmth_  
_if i hold your cheeks with warmed hands_  
_will you smile again for me?_

 

  
_if so, then do._

**Author's Note:**

> ahh sry this took so long i was rewriting this over and over again and it kinda became a short angsty mess :/ go ahead and scream at me in the comments <3  
> if you guys request it, i may lengthen this sometime.


End file.
